‘Ruffles and Flourishes’ …………. Be seated. Now, I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his
country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country. Men, all
this stuff you’ve heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of
the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real
Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion
marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big league ball player, the toughest boxer.
Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time.
I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed. That’s why
Americans have never lost and will never lose a war. Because the very thought of losing is
hateful to Americans.
Now, an Army is a team. It lives, eats, sleeps, fights as a team. This individuality
stuff is a bunch of crap. The bilious bastards who wrote that stuff about individuality
for the Saturday Evening Post don’t know anything more about real battle than they do
about fornicating.
We have the finest food and equipment, the best spirit and the best men in the world.
You know, by God I actually pity those poor bastards we’re going up against. By God,
I do. We’re not just going to shoot the bastards, we’re going to cut out their
living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks. We’re going to murder
those lousy Hun bastards by the bushel.
Now, some of you boys, I know, are wondering whether or not you'll chicken out under
fire. Don't worry about it. I can assure you that you will all do your duty. The Nazis are
the enemy. Wade into them. Spill their blood. Shoot them in the belly. When you put your
hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face, you'll know
what to do.
Now there’s another thing I want you to remember. I don’t want to get any
messages saying that we are holding our position. We’re not holding anything. Let the
Hun do that. We are advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding onto
anything except the enemy. We're going to hold onto him by the nose and we're going to
kick him in the ass. We're going to kick the hell out of him all the time and we're gonna
go through him like crap through a goose.
There’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home. And you
may thank God for it. Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside
with your grandson on your knee and he asks you what did you do in the great World War II,
you won’t have to say, "Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana."
Alright now, you sons-of-bitches, you know how I feel. Oh, and I will be proud to lead
you wonderful guys into battle – anytime, anywhere.
That’s all.
Click here for the real speech
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